Last week I finished my book.
I had planned to finish it in the fall, but then I extended my deadline to the end of the year. At the end of the year, I told my publisher I needed one more month. At the end of the month I asked for two more weeks. It was due by 5 p.m. last Monday and I sent it to my editor at 4:59.
The moment I hit send, I started to cough. The next morning, I woke up with a nasty case of the flu.
Yes, it is a bummer, but it’s also my pattern.
Every.Single.Time I push to finish a project, perform a big seminar or just get through a particularly stressful period of my life…BAM my body takes me out.
It would be easy to think that this is “just the way it is” but something is going on. Something I need to figure out.
What’s your pattern?
Maybe you always date men that are mean to you.
Perhaps you quit every job you take after being there a year.
Maybe you start taking care of yourself and then quit a few months in.
My pattern is so ingrained I could set my watch to it. I push push push, and then get sick. Rinse and repeat.
Patterns are dangerous because they’re like computer programming going on under the surface. They run our lives without our input or understanding.
The Amplify Project was born from the idea that we communicate who we are. After years of working with people to help them change their communication I realized that skills were not enough. It was going to take going deeper to really figure out why people were communicating the way they were in the first place.
If you really want to live into your power you’ve got to unearth your patterns. What keeps happening in your life over and over again like clockwork? Instead of letting it run its course uninterrupted, get curious. Knowing your patterns is the first step.
For me, I’m taking my pattern to my coach immediately. I want to untangle this and STOP GETTING SICK. (Ugh. Flu. It’s the worst.)
And good news! For a limited time, we’re offering free Power Up Sessions with Coach Kevin so you can begin looking at your patterns. Start with our FREE COURSE and you’ll get an email directing you on how to schedule your session with Kevin. Already taken the free course? Click here to schedule with Kevin directly.
Bring your pattern into the light. Patterns are a power drain. Disconnect from your pattern and TAP into your power.
Isn't it interesting how sometimes a remembrance of an experience from our youth can just hit us square between the eyes? It's like my childhood-self is trying to teach my adult-self a lesson. Those moments serve as yet ANOTHER reminder that power has ALWAYS been within me and only needs to be (re)tapped into.
Read the rest of my Power Up Newsletter for the complete story, along with a plug for my favorite movie and a spotlight cast on another movie that will most assuredly change the world!
When Kevin saw the locket and what was in it, he said to me, “Wow, your mom carried a locket with a picture of you in it?” I said no, it was my locket from when I was a kid.
He said, “You must have really loved yourself back then to carry a picture of yourself around!”
He was making a joke, but it got me thinking. Most of us wouldn’t think twice about carrying pictures of our loved ones or expressing our love for them, but ourselves?
Self-love sounds all gooey and new age-y and whatever else, but here’s the thing: if you don’t love yourself, nothing else matters.
In order to give to your kids, to your job, to your spouse, to your friends, you have to have something to give. When you love yourself enough to take care of yourself, when you tap into your values and your wants, when you take action on your dreams and desires, that’s when you have stuff left over to give to others.
Being the best version of you begins with loving yourself, just as you are.
We think it’s vain to love ourselves. But love ourselves we must. You’ve got to be the biggest cheerleader for your inner team.
YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR POWER. Not money, not career, not accomplishments, YOU. And if that’s true (it is) then you should love the hell out of yourself. Carry-a-dorky-picture-of-you-around-your-neck-love.
You are enough. Just as you are.
When you love yourself, you take care of yourself. Period. All self-care begins with self-love.
Instead of getting all serious on you this weekend, and since this part of the newsletter IS called “Stuff I Love Sundays” I’m going to share with you one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME: Steel Magnolias.
Steel Magnolias is based on a true story and the movie was made after the stage play became a huge hit.
I’ve probably seen it 3000 times, but I still ugly cry at the Sally Field cemetery scene.
I recently took a FB quiz asking what Steel Magnolias character I am. I’ll let you watch the movie and guess. (Ouiser, I was Ousier.)
A PERFECT movie to watch on a Sunday afternoon, funny and tragic at the same time. As Dolly Parton says, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!”
A trial attorney, Cajardo is also a gifted actor, and he is on a mission to produce a movie, Blackface: the story of nobody. Cajardo wrote, acts in and directs the movie. You can watch the trailer by clicking below.
Cajardo isn’t just out to make a movie, he’s looking to change the world. This movie is about so much more than blackface; it’s about the masks we all wear in order to hide our true selves, so we won’t get hurt.
Cajardo’s movie is now on Kickstarter: they need to raise $80,000 by March 22nd and if they don’t get it (I just learned this is how Kickstarter works) they don’t get ANY of the funds they raised. Please help if you can. I love this man and I love what I’ve seen so far of the movie.
Have you taken my FREE COURSE yet?
Without personal power, your dreams remain unfulfilled, and your goals, unmet. Power is what helps you realize your potential, and live a life of purpose.
That's why it's CRITICAL that you realize the immense power you possess, right now. Power lives within you, waiting only for you to TAP into it.
Goals are great. Necessary even.
But when you use your goals as way to put off living your best life NOW, that’s when they become a problem.
I love goal planning. In fact, I love planning of any kind. But it wasn’t until I realized that I was waiting to enjoy my life until I hit my goals that I realized this was all kinds of screwed up.
I kept telling myself, “I just need to get through this week,” or, “I just need to get through this month,” and then I finally realized THIS IS IT! If my every day existence wasn’t what I loved and enjoyed, something needed to change NOW.
I’m not suggesting that you must love every moment of your life. There are times you have to do things you’d rather not (like clean the toilet) or deal with people you’d rather avoid (like my accountant.)
But what I am saying is that if you’re putting off your happiness for some imagined future you think is better, you’re wasting precious time.
Life happens NOW, not in the future. Goals are fine, but not if they promise some fantasy life that you think will make you happy while you put off being happy right now.
What feeling do you think your goal will bring you? That’s what you’re really after, not the goal itself.
If you’re trying to lose weight so you’ll feel better in your clothes, go buy clothes you feel good in right now.
If you want to write a book because you’ve got great ideas you want to share with the world, share those ideas right now.
If you want to make more money so you feel financially secure, cut back your expenses and start saving so you can be more secure now.
Buying new clothes at your current weight, sharing your ideas or cutting back your expenses won’t stop you from losing weight, writing a book or making more money. In fact, they’ll probably help. But what they’ll do for sure is put your power back where it belongs: right here, right now.
Screw your goals. Focus on what your goals tell you about what you want, and focus on getting that NOW.
Life’s too short. Live in your power today.
Take my FREE COURSE "Three Things You Can Do Right Now To TAP Into Your Power" to get started on your path to your best life.
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"I should be doing more writing." "I should work out more." "I should(fill in the blank)." All these "SHOULDS" just fuel the unnecessary and unproductive presence of guilt that hangs over our heads. I took back my power over "the shoulds" this last weekend. Read about it in the Self-Care Saturday section.
Then, dig deeper into your WANTS with an article by Mark Manson that is sure to challenge your thinking around those wants.
Top off your weekend with expanding your awareness of those that are less fortunate in your community and across the nation. Be inspired by the good work of our featured Power Organization.
Get powered up!
Last weekend was my husband’s birthday. The year before was his 40th, and I surprised him with a 4-day trip to New York City. We met friends for drinks and 2 hours later a car pulled up and took us straight to the airport. He had NO idea. (I know. I’m awesome.)
This year, however, he had a cold. And all we wanted to do was have a few days to lie in bed and do NOTHING. (Seriously. We considered leaving the front door unlocked so the food delivery guys could bring our dinner straight to our bed. We decided against it in the end.)
My parents agreed to watch our daughter (cause they too, are awesome) and Kevin and I had our blissful do-nothing weekend.
I had a friend go through a personal crisis this past week.
There were lots of tears, late nights talking about what to do, and many moments where my friend felt utterly powerless.
Then one night, something shifted. After days of confusion and hopelessness, my friend suddenly had a moment of clarity. He made a decision that would shift everything. As he paced my living room, he kept saying to me, “How do I keep this? How do I keep this feeling?” He was so worried he would slip back into powerlessness now that he had finally accessed his power.
That’s when I told him, “You don’t need to try and ‘keep’ this. You’ve accessed your power, and you can do it again. It’s always there, waiting. You just need to TAP into it.”
This is what most people think: sometimes you feel powerful and other times you don’t, and that’s because power comes and goes.
Your source of power is constant. It’s always there, ready for you to TAP into it. It doesn’t wax or wane, go up or down, it’s always ready, always present, always available for you.
The Amplify Project was born from the idea that you are the amplifier. One cord travels to the microphone to send your message out to the world. Another cord travels to your power source. That source is your values, your desires, your wants, and your life purpose. In other words, your true self.
It’s only when you get disconnected from your true self that you feel powerless. When you forget what you want, what you value, and who you are, that’s when you feel the most powerless and wonder where your power has gone.
It hasn’t gone anywhere. You just need to TAP back into it.
As I talked with my friend for many days, I kept reminding him to TAP back into what he wanted and remember who he was. As he walked out of my house yesterday morning, he thanked me for reminding him of his power. A tall guy already, I swear he looked two inches taller.
Have you lost your way? Do you feel powerless? Start by reminding yourself of what you want and who you are. You can do that by taking my FREE COURSE "Three Things You Can Do Right Now to TAP Into Your Power
If you read about some of the most important scientific breakthroughs in history what you’ll find is that they often occur not in a lab or during focused thought and study, but when the scientist or innovator was taking a break.
Research backs up the importance of mental breaks. Researchers found that a particular set of scattered brain regions consistently became less active when someone concentrated on a mental challenge but began to fire in synchrony when someone was simply lying in an fMRI scanner, letting their thoughts wander. More research documented the same kind of coordinated communication between different brain regions in people who were resting. Many researchers were at first doubtful, but further studies by other scientists confirmed that the findings were not a fluke.
In other words, the brain is anything but idle when resting. Mental breaks allow the brain to make sense of what it has learned.
"The capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.”
When most of us think of "power," we think of the above definition.
That’s not how I’m defining it though. And frankly, I don’t think it’s helpful for you to define it that way either.
Power, the kind I’m talking about, the kind that you already have, has nothing to do with influencing the behavior of others or course of events.
Do you not have it until you can do those things?
Here are three myths most people believe about power:
Myth #1: Power is external.
Meaning, power comes from having a management position, or high rank, or lots of money or oodles of influence.
Here’s the truth: Power is internal. It comes from within. You already have it, and always have. You just haven’t tapped into yet. Not fully.
Each week seems to be busier and busier. Full of good things. But busy. The reminder to BREATHE is apropos and timely! Power Up your weekend with some good, deep breaths, and some laugh-out-loud reading. Plus, if your plans include doing the KonMari method to you closets, consider a donation to the power organization in our spotlight this weekend.
When I talk about breathing to my clients I always hear, “Breathing? Aren’t I already breathing?”
Yes, but probably not well.
Current research suggests that most people:
Breathing well does MANY things for you. First, it’s just plain good for you. It improves your circulation, gives you more energy, and releases tension. But in terms of communication, breathing is both communicatedand contagious.
Meaning, how you breathe gets communicated to others.As a wise person once said, “Authenticity shows people whoyou are, breathing shows people howyou are.” (Me! I said that. It was me.)
In addition, your breathing has the ability to affect how others breathe. That’s because people take their breathing cues from the speaker. So if you’re giving a presentation, running a meeting or simply having coffee with a colleague, you have the power to affect the breathing of whoever you’re with.
To get better at breathing start by becoming aware of it.Your body knows what to do. Whenever you focus on the breath, your body slows down and starts breathing slower and lower. Start by setting aside some time each day to focus on the breath, and I’ll give you more tips on breathing in upcoming Power Up posts.
Sari's passion is to help you TAP into your power from the inside, out. "Power Tools" provides real talk that gives you tools and reminders for tapping into your power instead of giving in to your excuses.