In a recent convo with a friend, she was using some really harsh language to describe herself and her recent actions. I had to stop her right then and point out that the way she was talking about herself toherself was the voice of a bully.
"Would you talk to ME that way?"
"Of course not!"
"Well, what gives you the right to talk to YOURSELF that way?!"
This weekend, check in on your self-talk. Build yourself up the way you would build others up. Don't be a bully to your inner self.
About a month ago, I talked here in this space about the importance of mental breaks. Today I’d like to remind you to give YOURSELF a break.
But what I mean this time is, lay off the negative self-talk.
Most of us are so hard on ourselves. We berate ourselves for our mistakes, perceived or real, and constantly talking to ourselves this way has negative consequences. In terms of power, it’s a major power drain.
It’s one thing to do nice things for yourself: baths, chocolate, time with a hobby, but none of those things really count as “self-care” if your internal monologue is constantly beating you up.
Give yourself a break. When you’re being hard on yourself, stop and ask if you’d talk this way to a friend. Practice telling yourself what a great job you’re doing, how good you look in that outfit and how grateful you are to have the life you have.
If you’re really committed to self-care, practice being kind to yourself on the inside as well as the outside.
Here’s a podcast episode that might help.
“Remember, you have been
criticizing yourself for years and
it hasn’t worked. Try approving
of yourself and see what happens.”
Alrighty, I’m about to get REAL woo-woo
on you and introduce you to Louise Hay
and her book You Can Heal Your Life.
Louise Hay might just be the pioneer of self-help, and even though I resisted buying this book for years, I finally succumbed and have to say I count this as one of my favorite books of all time. I ALWAYS grab for it when I’m feeling down. And bonus? She has a section on various physical ailments and the thoughts that create them. (I told you, woo woo.) I dare you to look up a few. This woman is RIGHT ON THE MONEY nearly every time.
If you’re serious about getting rid of your negative self-talk, then you’ll buy and absorb this book. I remember reading this line: “Loving the self, to me, begins with never ever criticizing ourselves for anything.” I about fell out of my chair. NEVER criticizing ourselves for ANYTHING? What? Get the book to see how you too, can do this.
This book is life changing. Get it. Learn it. Live it.
Girls Inc. believes girls need a space to learn how to be their best selves and have even created a Girl’s Bill of Rights which includes the right to be themselves, express themselves, take risks, accept their bodies, have confidence and prepare for independence. You can read the Girl’s Bill of Rights here.
From their website:
“The network of local Girls Inc. nonprofit organizations serves girls ages 6-18 at more than 1,400 sites in 400 cities across the United States and Canada. Our research-based programming is delivered by trained professionals who focus on the development of the whole girl, supporting, mentoring, and guiding girls in an affirming, pro-girl environment. Here, girls learn to value their whole selves, discover and develop their inherent strengths, and receive the support they need to navigate the challenges they face.”
This organization is helping empower girls. To learn more, donate, or get involved, click the button below.
It’s been a big buzz word for a while now. Show up. Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be authentic.
But what does that really mean?
A lot of people hide who they really are from the world, this is true. But I find that even more people use “authenticity” as an excuse to stay comfortable.
I mean, if something is uncomfortable, it’s inauthentic, right?
As we move through life, we create a box marked “me” and rarely deviate from it. Anything inside the box is “authentic” and anything outside the box is “inauthentic.”
But guess what: boxes are limiting. And further, boxes cannot contain the greatness that is you.
We are all changing and evolving constantly. I believe we are here on earth to grow and become the best version of ourselves. If that’s true, then who we are isn’t static. Who you are today isn’t who you will be 2 years or even 2 months from now. Therefore, what’s “authentic” is always in flow.
Change and growth require that you risk, that you be uncomfortable, and that you push the envelope. But you’ll never be able to do these things if you believe that being uncomfortable is inauthentic.
Redefine your definition of authenticity. Instead of using the word as a way to restrict yourself, define authenticity as your process of finding out who you are. In this way, authenticity becomes a journey instead of a destination.
Here’s a podcast you might enjoy on this topic.
Sari's passion is to help you TAP into your power from the inside, out. "Power Tools" provides real talk that gives you tools and reminders for tapping into your power instead of giving in to your excuses.