A week ago, I was speaking at a conference for female trial lawyers called Embrace Your Inner Bad Ass.
One of the lawyers asked a question during Sunday morning’s Q & A. She asked, “Could you talk a little about self-care?”
My answer? “Sure. My tip for self-care is to design a life you don’t want to escape from.”
In other words, self-care shouldn’t be used as an escape from a life that is soul-sucking.
But it’s not always that easy.
It’s one thing to talk about designing a life that you love, and it’s quite another to actually do it.
For example, what about people who don’t feel they are able to “design their life?” Either due to circumstances beyond their control or because they’re in a period of their life that feels overwhelming at best? (Any parents of young kids out there?)
To that I’d say: You still have choice.
Designing a life you don’t want to escape from begins by recognizing that we often aren’t allowed to choose our circumstances, but we can always, ALWAYS choose our response.
I’ve written about Viktor Frankl before. Viktor was a Jewish man held in a concentration camp during World War II. Viktor was, in the most extreme sense of the word, powerless. He couldn’t leave. He couldn’t change his circumstances. He couldn’t do much of anything.
He could control how he responded to the situation.
He had power over his response. He didn’t need to have control over his circumstances in order to own his personal power. He still had choice even when the Nazi’s took everything else away.
You always have choice too, even when it seems you don’t. When the pipe bursts or your kid is suspended or your spouse leaves or you have to declare bankruptcy, you can choose your response. You can decide, right then and there, how you want to be with whatever is happening. And how you want to be will inform what you do next. All doing flows from being.
So the next time you feel powerless, ask yourself, how do I want to respond to this? In that way you can reclaim your power and continue to design a life you love, even when things seem out of control.
Designing a life you don’t want to escape from begins with owning what you can control and what you can’t. Start by controlling your response to your circumstances. That is where the power lies.
Sari's passion is to help you TAP into your power from the inside, out. "Power Tools" provides real talk that gives you tools and reminders for tapping into your power instead of giving in to your excuses.